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Creating a parenting vision

"Leadership vision is an essential means for focusing attention on what matters most; what you want to accomplish in your life and what kind of leader you wish to be. A useful vision has to be rooted in your past, address the future, and deal with today’s realities. It represents who you are and what you stand for.” HBR

Every one of us who ever lead a team, be it as a business leader, army officer, a teacher leading a class etc knows that one of the first steps to take, when joining a new team, is to paint a clear vision of the future and a raison d'être, a reason for existence. This vision serves as the north star and guides the leader and the team along their journey especially when coming to forks in the road.

We parents are also leaders, we lead & guide our kids through their life journey. Nevertheless, for the first 6 years of being a parent I didn’t lead, I have let life lead me. Yes I tried my best but I never set down to define my role as a father, where do I want to lead my kids to and what will I consider success when the kids get older.

In 2017 one evening after dinner Michal, my wife, pulled me a side and told me: “I have something to tell you… I think I have ALS”. Few days later we got a final word from her doctor that confirmed our worst fears and our lives were never the same again.

Knowing that ALS patience have an average life expectancy of 3-5 years and that pretty soon I will become a single parent forced me to stop and ask myself what is my role and how will I define success as a parent. This lead me down a rabbit hole and after a long journey I emerged with the following parenting vision:

‘Nurture my kids to be happy and have the tool box to achieve their goals & dreams and, ideally, have a positive impact on the world’

The cynics will, probably, say: “similar to a company vision, this vision is amorphous and non actionable”. In the next post we’ll discuss how to take this parenting vision and turn it into an action plan.

In the meantime, I would love to hear from you: What is your parenting vision?


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